Who do you see in your mirror?

1 Oct

I am taking part in a writing challenge: #5daywritingchallenge

This blog post is my first task. Who is the person I see in the mirror?

I think that it is such an interesting and important thing to do – check out who you are, what is your unique mix of personality, interests, and traits, in order to put yourself into everything you communicate. It is equally so with either spoken or written communication. Clearly when speaking to someone, or many people, you need to focus on them and their needs but first, know who you are and what you want too. That is the solid background behind your words.

So, who am I? Who is the person that I see in the mirror?

When I look in the mirror I see a woman – in terms of physicality – with a chiselled face, some deep lines, and brown eyes made bigger with black eye liner! I see bushy eyebrows – which I do rather like – a defined bone structure, straight nose, and a smiling red mouth… Oh, and hair that is on the wild side.

How chiselled I see myself depends on whether or not I am wearing my glasses of course! Without glasses it is a slightly smudged look!!

I often think to myself, ‘should I bother with a bit of Botox to soften the lines…?’, I have had this conversation with myself quite a few times. What is it about these lines that I might want to smooth away? What do I want to achieve? Is it a fresher look for me, or is it about having a younger look to take out to the world? The jury is still out on that one.

How I talk to myself about this says something about who I am behind the skin too. I am someone who asks questions. Someone who is curious and loves to talk with others and hear what they have to say, I love conversation. There are some things that are great to discuss to find answers and solutions, but there are many things in life where it is just great to explore without coming to a defined conclusion.

I enjoy socialising where conversation is a big part of the mix, so I love to have people round for tea (or wine) and chat. I have also discovered, during the recent enforced lockdown, how Zoom can actually be a good place to converse as well. It is different, and you need to set the screen view up carefully, but it can be very intimate. You just need to take along your own tea or wine.

Going to the theatre or cinema with friends and discussing what we have just seen afterwards is another great pleasure of mine. It is fascinating what some  people pick up and how differently we each see the same stuff. I love that.

I also relish having people round for dinner and going out for dinner with friends. Actually, I adore the combination of food and talk. That is something else about the woman I see in the mirror – I love food, I enjoy cooking as well as eating. I have always been a bit of a foodie. I remember my grandmother saying once that she wouldn’t mind if she could just take a pill instead of eating; and while I loved her dearly I found that such a strange thing to say. I couldn’t relate to it; eating is one of the great pleasures of life.

I see a very expressive face in the mirror, one that shows my emotions like a picture book. That’s me. I can do poker face, but I am much happier letting it all shine through. I love to express myself through my body as well as my voice. During the working day – if I am working from my home office I like to break for a few minutes every now and then to get up and dance. When I do, it’s pretty wild expressive stuff. I am not so good at following set steps for dances and really rather rubbish at “following lead”. I remember in our early days of going out, my husband and I decided to take up ballroom dancing and went to classes. It wasn’t a success. Part of the issue was that I just wanted to lead all the time!!

I am a great walker, either on my own or with others. On my own, I love to reflect on things and I often have my best ideas on a walk. As a child, a favourite thing to do was to, “build castles in the air”, while walking. It has always been a way of flexing my imagination. Walking with others? Well it’s just another brilliant way to talk and no worries about taking or not taking the lead, as conversation can just ebb and flow naturally. There are no rules.

In the mirror, I also see the me who is married to Simon, who I met on a bike ride from Lands End to John O’Groats 30 years ago. That bike ride is a whole other story! It reminds me of how much I still enjoy it when the two of us go riding our bikes for fun. Must do more of it. In fact, the person I see in the mirror needs to prioritise doing more things just for fun. I am a bit of a workaholic with dodgy boundaries, and it’s beginning to expose a bit of wear and tear on my psyche.

When I see myself in the mirror, I know that I have two grown up daughters and a granddaughter. Our girls are one of our greatest creations and our grandchild, Iris, is one of the bright lights of my life. I love being a granny!!

That’s the person in my mirror – who is the person in yours?

If you would be interested in taking part in one of Fiona’s upcoming workshops to show you how to “find” your own strong individual voice, to better express the person you see in your mirror, do contact her on fiona@locuscoaching.com and ask for details.

Fiona Whytehead
By Fiona Whytehead

Founder and Director, Locus Coaching

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Fiona Whytehead
By Fiona Whytehead

Founder and Director, Locus Coaching

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