Choice – what choice?

How much choice do you have in your life?

I know I have often felt stuck in a spiral with no choice at all.

Indeed, I can’t control macro things in the world; exploding interest rates, wars, global wars, lock-ins due to pandemics, and I was falling into the trap of thinking that I couldn’t control anything about my life.

I would get up in the morning and allow my ever expanding to-do list to whizz about in my head, like a food mixer, with the same whining sound.

So my day was a mess of me resentfully rushing from one task to another, not enjoying it and constantly having this commentary in my head which was basically saying, “not good enough”.

The revelation came to me when my Coach reminded me that I do have a choice.

I could choose not to listen to that unhelpful voice in my head.

I could choose not to do that task that was making me so unhappy, but that I was doing because I had been told by ‘gurus’ that that was the way to go.

I could choose to do things my way.

I could choose to take what was working for me, and that meant that I was working from a place of  joy and positive energy.

I was getting in a one and eight about social media – it was vast, it was all-consuming:

‘Well, why don’t you just stop doing any of it for three months?’

‘Well, because I will get lost and no-one will see me, and I basically won’t exist business-wise.’

‘Is your business only dependant on the internet? Can you, and do you, reach people in other ways?’

Yes.

‘But I HAVE to post all the time – that’s what they all say.’

‘Who?’

‘The gurus, the experts.’

‘But, is it making you unhappy?’

‘Yes. But what if I decide I want to do some social media?’

‘Then you can choose to do that. You can decide not to do any social media for three months, unless you decide that you want to.’

‘Oh.’

So I did.

I left my session with a spring in my step.

When I got home, I edited my newsletter and then next morning I wrote a post.

From a point of choice.

As my Coach said, I had entered the wonderful world of choosing what I do.

I was now experiencing how it feels to work from a position of love – doing things because you love to do them, not because you feel that you should.

Does it mean that suddenly all my cares and bills and responsibilities have melted away?

No.

Does it mean that I never have to ‘eat that frog’ – thank you Brian Tracy for the book entitled ‘Eat that Frog!’, suggesting that we tackle the task that is one of the most important, and yet something that we really don’t want to do, first?

No.

Does it mean that every morning everything is how I want it to be, rather than how it is?

No.

But within that, I have choices.

Crucially, I have the choice not to do stuff if I choose not to.

So I gently suggest to you, that if you are not doing so already, take your choices where you can.

Even if you think your situation is restricted, just experiment with seeing what choices you have. It may not be the thing that you feel you ought to do – because you are a bit wrung out – and you need a duvet hour (I still can’t quite make it a duvet day!).

There will be consequences, but you have taken a choice about that.

Taking choice is not about putting your head in the sand.

Taking choice is about finding the joy in the DOING because you have chosen it, rather than forced yourself.

If you would like to find out more about my coaching and training services, or my new Havening offer, contact me via email at Fiona Whytehead, or book a discovery call.

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